Monday, May 5, 2008

Do You Know?

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. --- Tom Clancy


You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither. --- Steve Martin


Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. --- Woody Allen


Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. --- Rodney Dangerfield


There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL. --- Lynn Lavner


Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist. --- Matt Barry


Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. --- George Burns


Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant. --- George Burns


Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships. --- Sharon Stone


My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading. ---Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computer)


My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. --- Jack Nicholson


Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is. --- Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady) (and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humour)


Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. --- Robin Williams


Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.--- Roseanne


Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.--- Billy Crystal


According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful. --- Robert De Niro


There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem? --- Dustin Hoffman


There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, "I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked." --- Jerry Seinfeld


Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. --- Rod Stewart

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